behappy

By Sharon Starika (www.sharonstarika.com)

Don’t worry, this is not an article about New Year’s resolutions.  This is about knowing that you are enough, and it is enough.  “It” means anything you do in your life.  The amount you exercise each day, how hard you exercised, how fast you ran, and the work you got done.  Also, the chores you finished and the love you provided your children with.  When do you decide? How do you decide when it is enough?

Recently, I attended the “Woman of the Year” celebration in Park City. As I listened to all the accomplishments the winner of the award had achieved, I couldn’t help from thinking: “I could never do that much, I could never achieve so much, it seems almost impossible to do so much so well,” and from there a sense of failure began to enter my mind.  I challenged myself to continue to listen, to support her, to think good thoughts about myself, yet I found myself continuing to think: “Is this what we are about?  How would my daughter feel right now in this room? Hopeless?  Incapable?  Do we focus on expectations so much we end up missing the moment? Are our standards or expectations so high that we are never able to obtain them? If we do obtain them do we really experience happiness and fulfillment?”

I am left full of mixed emotions wondering when do I feel “It’s enough?”  I’ve been pondering this question now for a few months listening, thinking, feeling, and sensing.  During this time I’ve come to wonder how many of us are lacking self-love and acceptance for whatever we did that day.   Often I hear friends and colleagues say, “Oh, I should have run a faster PR, I should have been first in this race, I should have trained harder, I only ran 16 miles today,  if I sleep in that’s too lazy.   I should add in another marathon because I only did five this year.”  These are just a few of the examples I witness daily.  Many of us are living with expectations and demands  that cause us to miss out on the moment. How often have we read or heard the message of being present?  I’m speaking to the depth of the presence, which is to love, to accept, and to embrace whatever you have done as perfect and good enough.

I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t have goals or dreams; they are truly important.   They provide us with a sense of direction and determination.  But even in a goal, when do we feel it is good enough?  As I head out the door to run, I’m given once again the special opportunity to feel, to be present, to witness, to endure all that I am in the moment.

Over the past couple of months, I have come to realize that one of the most precious gifts I received from The Feldenkrais Method and my training is discovering and developing a self-Image which includes self- regulation, knowing in the moment when to stop or back off, when I can go further, trusting my ability to know what is right for me at that moment, and that what is right for me is all that matters. It takes presence, awareness, and a desire to be connected with one’s self.

Perhaps during this holiday season you can begin to witness your self, discovering how you know when it’s enough, how you self regulate, and how you honor and love yourself in the moment.  It is enough.

 

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